The Bellwether, July 1, 2023

With Deborah Froese

Find Space Where It Really Matters

Just over a decade ago, after scrambling to meet cascading deadlines and prepare for a conference, I found myself sitting alone in a lovely hotel room in Vancouver, Canada, with nothing to do. As warm sunlight streamed into the uncluttered room and brightened its butter-yellow walls, I ran my fingers over the rich texture of the upholstered chair beneath me and inhaled the fresh, clean air. Gone was the undercurrent of anxiety that had plagued me for weeks prior. I breathed in and out deeply, savoring the moment, noticing how relaxed and peaceful I felt.

space did appear, this gotta-get-things-done- world usually set my mind worrying about the next task and the next, tangling me in multiple layers of stress. Eventually, puzzled, I examined my calendar more closely. Realization dawned. The problem had nothing to do with a full schedule and everything to do with a full mind. Could making time to clear my head give me the space I needed?

My quest for mindfulness began.

I won’t lie; it hasn’t been easy. At first, I felt guilty about putting productivity aside for mindful practices such as meditation and breathing or reminding myself that, as a human, I have limitations—especially if I don’t take care of myself. After several years of intentional practice, I still haven’t nailed it, but I’m getting better at echoing my hotel room experience. It not only feels good to create space and live in the present moment, but it’s also changing me. I’m calmer in the face of life’s inevitable challenges and less likely to let a bad moment or a disagreeable person impact my day. I stop when intuition tells me to. I think more clearly, make decisions more easily, and have a greater capacity for openness and change. I’m also more productive, which means any time I may give up to create that space is returned in spades. If you haven’t practiced finding space where it really matters—in your mind—give mindfulness a try. It just might impact you, those around you, and ultimately, the work you do in positive ways.

I was truly in that moment, surrounded by a glorious sense of spaciousness.

That memory stays with me because it was so powerful in its simplicity and because it took place before I learned to engage with mindfulness. There was no intention behind that experience; it just happened.

But how?

Reflection tells me that vivid present-moment experience sprang from the delight of a new location and the absence of an immediate “to-do” list (or housework) to distract or worry me. Until the conference began the following day, my only scheduled activity was meeting much-loved colleagues for dinner. With hours of nothing to do and nothing to worry about, my mind and body slipped into the space of simply being. I longed to replicate that feeling, but for several years, it seemed impossible. Stretches of unscheduled time were rare, and when such

Author, editor, and story coach Deborah Froese is on a mission to spark change through the stories we share. www.deborahfroese.com

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