Author, editor, and story coach Deborah Froese is on a mission to spark change through the stories we share. www.deborahfroese.com
Image by Jessica Kwok, courtesy of Pixabay.com.
I’m a recovering perfectionist. My past is littered with the tattered remains of endeavors that didn’t meet my standards. Perfectionism took root in high school. I enrolled in a double major to prepare for university while indulging my passion for art through graphic design. I wanted my creations to accurately reflect the vision in my head, but they often didn’t. My teacher usually granted me extensions for “do-overs” but also counseled me to look at unexpected results as opportunities for re-envision. The Fatal Flaw of Perfectionism and people have seemingly responded, in kind, by agitating to perfect themselves and their lifestyles.” The study found that between 1989 and 2016, expectations of personal perfection increased by 10% while expectations of perfection in others increased by 16%. Strikingly, the perception of socially-prescribed perfectionism increased by 33% in that same time period. The rise is attributed to factors like increased societal pressures, social media influence, and a competitive educational environment. Unfortunately, trends toward perfectionism have been linked to higher rates of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation among young people in the US, Canada, and the UK. I just didn’t get it. 1 2
While other people commended my efforts—and my graphics design teacher even had me create professional material for his friend—I saw only its flaws. I didn’t understand that those so-called flaws were invitations to growth, to improve my craft. I didn’t necessarily need to start over but to carry what I learned into the next project, expanding my portfolio. Focusing on meeting my standard of perfection kept me stuck in one zone, on one project, entrenching me in repetition rather than progress. And it wasn’t just art. It applied to sewing projects and other crafts, photography, music, and even styling my hair or choosing my clothes. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop in high school. In fact, the search for “perfect” continued until I had children and barely had time to do something once, never mind a do-over. Unfortunately, perfectionism is on the rise. A 2019 study published in the Psychological Bulletin says that “from the 1980s onward, neoliberal governance in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom has emphasized competitive individualism,
It certainly caused plenty of grief for me.
In her book, The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, Julia Cameron writes, “Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough.” Perfectionism holds people back. It tightens the gut with angst and forces continual evaluation, likely against an impossible objective. It is fueled by the fear of failure and the need for external validation. It’s not healthy for body, mind, or spirit. So how does one release perfectionism—especially if they really want to produce good work? Consider striving for excellence instead. Excellence emphasizes learning and growth. It views missteps as opportunities to learn and grow (just like my graphic design teacher tried to tell me). It is fueled by an internal desire to do good work through
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